OCD in the times of a worldwide pandemic. Yeah that’s perfect! The coronavirus has left my privileged ass a bit confused – I’m pretty cosy and safe in my apartment with access to fancy food that gets delivered to my doorstep but hey, there’s more to life than being stuck at home right?! What about all the trips I had planned this year (and well next if we’re being real), all the expensive food and cocktails I was gonna blow my money on while going out with friends, all the money I was gonna make too! I feel attacked! Well, not really actually – It’s Day 45 of us being in lockdown and I’m honestly doing pretty good right now. I had 2 rough days in the middle where nothing made sense but it’s all good now. Yes there are frequent recurring concerns of what if I get it? What if I die? What if I don’t make any money for 2 straight years? What if I get real fat? What if my work industry completely changes and I can’t cope, and more disconcertingly, I don’t want to cope? But when you actually sit down, you can find answers for pretty much all of it – not the technical stuff obviously – like when the vaccine will come out etc but most others things are very manageable thanks to my privilege and sheer luck of being born in a decent financial section of society and how hard my parents worked to give me this life from which I could launch to do so bloody well for myself and also my saving skills (thanks to my middle class upbringing) which is why I can go for quite some time if I don’t make any money (THANK YOU DADDY – for helping me mould myself into my own sugar daddy)
If I get it I should hopefully come out of it alive – I’m a fairly healthy human with fairly good habits of eating and physical activity and have mostly been pretty at ease mentally in my life. And I’m insured so that helps too.
If I die then well I can’t really plan for anything beyond that.
If I get fat? I don’t think I will. Again, because I have pretty good eating lifestyle I’d say, barring my alcohol consumption. I mostly eat clean and really enjoy doing my regular yoga sessions which may not be as many as one would hope but I feel quality matters more than quantity – when I do my yoga I am completely in it, willing it to have the best effect on my body and mind and that is what matters to me. I do yoga about twice a week currently for 1.5 hours each time. So yes I might gain some weight in this lockdown but it won’t be very drastic. Obviously I won’t get lean and fucking fabulous like I usually do during the summers because of my swimming but my yoga will keep me supple and calm and that’s what I probably need anyway right now.
In my opinion I do think that influencer marketing will eventually bounce back to it’s original status or maybe even come out stronger but that’s a waiting game. If it does, but it’s changed to such a huge point that I don’t feel relevant I’ll be forced to look at other sides of me and do the things that I’ve been putting off until now – like focus more on my yoga practice, slow down in life and actually enjoy the money and privilege I’ve accumulated and build from there.
For now I just have to sit back down, enjoy the fancy food that gets delivered to my doorstep, enjoy the video chats with my family and friends, enjoy the cocktails Aman makes for me, enjoy my yoga and try to think less of the near or far future because NOBODY has the answers for it and planning for it won’t do much either because honestly, what outcome should you be planning for anyway?
The only one thing I have been doing is diversifying my investments here and there. And I’m having more fun than I should be probably. Time will tell what was a good decision and what wasn’t.
Incase you haven’t figured out what this blog post is for – it’s mostly for me to come back to when my mind wanders again and I start to freak out. I thought it would be a good idea to have the rationalisation written down somewhere and also share it with whoever was interested. Meanwhile we just keep washing our hands with soap. And in my case I wash my entire body with it and sing Go Corona! Corona Go!